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Despite a number of short-term
unwarranted arrests for a virtual plethora of misdemeanors,
which, for some odd reason, remain "classified", Cochaman Peef
has continued to let his beloved hemp play a substantial role in
his ever-waning life. Whether he’s smoking from a hand-blown
glass pipe while studying Eastern religion and Woody Harrelson
philosophy, or just smoking Jamaican sticks and watching Kung-Fu
with David Carradine on DVD [he claims to know Carradine
personally, a fact we've yet to dispute] you can be sure that
the fruits of the illustrious Cannabis plant are somehow
involved in the words which seem to "flow" endlessly from the "Cochaman",
a name supposedly given to him by a disgruntled Arapaho Indian
he accidentally rear-ended while visiting relatives in South
Dakota. After graduating from at least one actual Community
College that we know of, Chemeketa Community College of Salem,
Oregon; Cochaman muddled his way through various unfulfilling
part-time jobs at The Meta Foundation for Medatative Growth and
two Wal-Marts somewhere in New Mexico. With all of the frequent
mandatory drug testing and a rather nagging emphasis on Cochaman
"not being high all of the time," each career proved to be
creatively stifling while not allowing a "nurturing" atmosphere
in which he might prosper and thrive... According to the
Cochaman, Marijuana is a medicinal plant with many complex
bio-chemical products and by-products... all of which he has
tried at one point or another. UPBEAT Entertainment News has
taken a very unique sort of "different" approach in cultivating
this new-age philosopher— we let him do whatever the hell he
feels like doing. If his articles are a week late, we laugh and
replace them with another columnist's work while we wait. If
he’s practicing a Zen-like maneuver on the teleconferencing
desk, we postpone the morning meeting. If his eyes are glazed
over, red veins showing... and glassy, we run out and buy the
Visine. Whatever helps the Cochaman to be able to transcribe his
uniquely twisted views of the world on paper [provided he
doesn't just use the paper to roll up an enormously gargantuan
Ziggy Marley-esque joint, thusly smoking up all of his
extraordinary views]... Affectionately known as "MacHighver" to
all of his friends here at UPBEAT, most of whom he can't
actually remember... Cochaman lives in his parents’ basement in
Pittsburgh with his dog "Bong".
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