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Bit Of Dark Humor
A friend of mine shared this dark piece of humor with me the other
day— I laughed out loud... and then I decided to share it with all of you... A concerned wife says to her exhausted husband who, after returning home at the end of the day, looks as though he'd been through hell and somehow lived to tell about it... "How did your day go, dear?" The husband sighed and
then quickly responded, "Terrible my dear— just bloody terrible!!" The wife, now concerned, asked, "What happened?" The husband paused for a moment, a bit reluctant... "Things were so bad early on at work that I finally I decided I just needed to get out of the office and play a round of golf... so I took
my new assistant George with me." The wife put her hand on her husband's shoulder in a gesture of comfort and replied, "That's too bad about the office, dear." The husband sighed deeply again.. "Well, that's only the beginning," he stated. "Oh, what else happened dear?" the wife asked. "We got to the seventh hole, and George had a heart attack!" he explained. "Oh, my!" the wife said... somewhat shocked by her husband's run of bad luck. The husband turned to his wife and exclaimed rather matter-of-factly, "Oh yeah, then things really started getting worse...
for the rest of the day it was, hit the ball, drag George... hit the ball, drag George."
More things I have inevitably learned while I was preoccupied with other things... You will never find anyone who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time. The most powerful force in the universe is often gossip. The one true thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. There comes a time in your life when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal over your birthday. That would be at age 12. There is a very fine line between a "hobby" and a "mental illness." People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has yet to achieve and may never will achieve, its fullest potential, that word would be "meetings"... A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. No matter what happens, someone will take it all way too seriously. When trouble arises and things look really dismal, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command... quite often, that individual is insane. Your friends love you anyway. No one really cares if you can't dance very well... so just dance.
UB
Fiona Hutchison is
perhaps best known for her critically acclaimed roles on the popular
daytime serials, 'As the World Turns' and 'One Life To Live', and her
Emmy-nominated portrayal of jewel thief turned good, Jenna Bradshaw, on
the longest running CBS daytime serial, Guiding Light. She can currently
be seen as the scheming vixen Gabrielle Medina on 'One Life To Live'.
Feel free to e-mail Fiona Hutchison with any/all questions you may have
at: UPBEATmag@aol.com
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